The End Has Come
by Atem's Queen
Summary: Bakura wants to rule the world, but the Pharaoh has his item. What if Bakura got ahold of his ring once more? Will he be able suceed in doing so? What about the Pharaoh? Will be able to stop this maddness? Or will the world come to it's end?
1. The beginning of the end

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, which sucks. and all of my stories suck anyway, plus my chapter title sucks so bare with me. Please review. One more thing: If you can't write anything nice, don't write anything at all.**

Chapter One: The Beginning of the end

One beautiful morning with the sun shining bright and with absolutely no clouds in site, the whole gang were up in Yugi's room doing absolutely nothing. How could they be doing absolutely nothing, when it's a pretty day outside? Oh well.

Joey spoke up, "So...what do you guys want to do?"

Yugi shrugged. "I don't know." For some odd reason, Bakura was there. (Evil Bakura by the way.)

"I don't know about you guys, but I want to rule the world and cause chaos." said the tomb robber.

Ryou said, "Pardon my yami. We all know that he will never succeed in doing such a thing. He rubbed the back of his neck. Bakura stood against the wall with his arms folded across his chest.

"Humph."

Yami said, "Yes, as long as I am here, no harm will be done. Besides, I stopped him once and I can do it again."

"Shut up you pompous wind bag!" replied the tomb robber. "Someday I _will_ rule the world, you'll see, and you'll all be bowing down to me! Mwahahahahah!" He ran out of the room, and all that was left of the tomb robber was the faint sound of "someday!"

Joey said, "Well that was weird."

"And yet another weird event to add to the list." said Tristan.

"You don't think he actually meant it, do you?" asked Tea.

"I don't know." said Yugi.

"Of course not." said Yami. "It would be a miracle if something like that to occur."

"I guess…" said Tea, still uncertain.

That ends chapter one. I know, it was short, and it sucked but oh well. I tried. Please review!


	2. Baka Pharaoh!

**Disclaimer: I finally had an idea. I had no intention of continueing the fic, but okay, I will. Does anyone get tired of saying they don't own YGO? I do. I don't own YGO.**

**Chapter two**

Bakura left the house with a smug look on his face. "This shall be easy. After all, I do have my millenium ring." He looked down, but he didn't see his precious ring. "What! Where is it? I just had it-." He stopped and thought a moment. "Oh...oh...now I remember. My host has it." Yes, Ryou did indeed have the ring. He forced Bakura to give it to him that one day. Ryou was trying to make Bakura take his medicine, and kina acccidentally gave him too much. Which made him all weird and extriemely nice. It was creepy. Little Ryou had this idea, and took the millenium ring, and gave it to Yugi so he wouldn't cause trouble and utter chaos. "This sucks. Now wonder why the Pharaoh was acting all pompous. Darn it. How am I supposed to rule the world now?" He stood there and thought a moment. "I didn't want to have to resort to this." He walked twards Yugi's house again.

At the Mouto's Residence

The gang had left, only leaving Yugi and Yami. Alone. No Grandpa, and just because I can, it was storming outside. "Yami..." said Yugi as he looked outside the window.

"Yes abiou." said Yami, as he sat by the little one. (a/n: I suck at spelling. So if I spelled aibou wrong, I am like soo sorry.)

"I'm worried." replied Yugi.

"Me too."

"Why?" asked Yugi.

"Because," answered the pharaoh. "A moment ago it was beautiful outside, now it's storming. Don't you find that odd?" Yugi thought a moment.

"Now that you think about it, I do." Yugi shook of the thought. "But that's not the reason why I'm worried!"

"Then why are you worried?" asked Yami.

"About Bakura." replied the small boy.

"What about him?"

"What he does rule the world? What if he finds a way? What if he comes here? What if-."

"AHHH! Too many questions!" Yugi stared at the pharaoh with a weird look on his face. "Don't worry little one. He won't be showing his face here again. He's powerless without his item.

"Don't call me little! I'm just vertically challenged! Anyway, I guess you're right. Just then, the door was knocked down. A dark figure stood in the doorway.

"Who's there?" asked Yami cautiosly. "Well, who ever it is, you're paying for the door. It wasn't cheap you know. Dorrs don't grow on trees."

"Yami," said Yugi. "Actually, doors do grow on trees. They're made of wood, and wood comes from trees."

"So." said Yami. "Oh yeah, the mystery dude. Show yourself!"

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

"Oh great." replied Yugi.

"Hey, I know that laugh." replied the pharaoh. "It sounds so familiar."

"What?" replied the figure. "You don't remember me? I was only gone like 15 minutes."

"Oh." said Yami. "Who are you again?"

"Baka pharaoh!" cried Yugi. "It's Bakura!"

"Oh."

"That's right, it's me. Oh, and I'm not paying for the door. That's how evil I am. Plus, it was raining. I was knocking and knocking, but no one would answer the door, so I knocked it down. I mean, don't you guys think it's weird that it was all sunny and now it's storming?"

"Yami nodded. "I was wondering the same thing."

"Um...hello." said Yugi.

"Oh right." said Bakura.

"Can we please get on with this?" asked Yugi. "I don't have all day."

"Fine fine. I came here for my item!" shouted Bakura.

Yugi gasped. "Yami, I thought you said he wouldn't come back!"

"I didn't know that. But now I do!"

"Aren't you afraid?" asked Yugi. "He's here to kill you and take the item to rule the world!"

"Exactley." said Bakura.

"Oh no!" screamed Yami. "Quick, let's build a fort out of pillows!" Yugi stared at him like WTF.

"Dude, you're stupid." Yugi managed to say.

"No I'm not! Fluffyness wards off evil!"

Bakura stared at the two. "Uh...um..."

"Stupid pharaoh!"

"Fluffyness!"

"Hey!" screamed Bakura. The two of them stopped and looked at Bakura. "Look, I'm not here to kill you...yet, I came here for my item."

"Oh," replied the pharaoh. "Then why didn't you say so."

"I did." Yami handed the thief the millenium ring that magically appeared. Yugi just stared in disbelief. He was too speechless to say anything. "T-thank you...?" replied the theif. He didn't expect the pahraoh to just hand the ring to him. To tell you the truth, neither did I.

"Oh, and before I forget, the next time you come here to kill me," said the pharaoh. "Bring a buther knife."

"Okay." replied the thief. Yugi was still in shock. "Uh...bye." he left, and again, just because I can, it was sunny again.

"STUID PHARAOH!" screamed Yugi.

"What?" asked Yami. "Hey, it's sunny outside again!"

**Atem's Queen: That ends chapter 2. How was it? My friend Chase read it. He said it was funny. What will happen next? I guess you'll just have to stay tuned! Please review!**


	3. Decisions

**Disclaimer: Sorry it took so long to post this! Thanks to all my reviewers! (sigh) I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.**

**Chapter Three**

"Pharaoh, what am I going to do with you?" asked Yugi, who just saw his stupid yami hand over the millenium ring to the most insane person ever.

"What?" asked Yami, not knowing what he had just done. "What'd I do?"

Yugi slapped his forehead. "Sometimes, it makes me wonder how you get through the day." muttered Yugi.

"Excuse me?" asked the pharaoh.

"Oh never mind! When Bakura comes by again to kill you, take it outside. Gramps will kill me if he finds blood on the floor. It's so hard to get out of the carpet." said Yugi sarcasticly.

"Okay." replied the pharaoh.

"You're such an idiot!" Yugi ran upstairs and went to his room.

"What?"

"Baka pharaoh!" Yugi sat down at his desk. "Okay, since the pharaoh is stupid, Bakura is insane and now the owner of the ring once more, I guess it's up to me to save the world." Just then, heroic music played in the backround. "What the heck? Where is that music coming from?" Yugi turned around and saw Yami standing there with a radio.

"Hi." replied Yami.

"Get out of here! Oh, and take your music with you!" Yami quickly ran out of the room. "That was weird and random. Now, what should I do?" He thought a moment. "I can't do this. The pharaoh is hopeless. I'm hopeless. Oh well. I guess I'll do the things that I've always wanted to do." He picked up the phone and dialed a number.

Ring! Ring! Ring! "Hello." said a women's voice. "You've reached Kaiba Corp. How may I help you?"

"Um...may I speak to Kaiba?" asked Yugi.

"He's busy at the moment. Try next weak."

"But I need to speak with him!"

"He's busy. Do you want to make an appointment?"

"Listen lady, I don't have all day. There's an insane person trying to rule the world. We're all going to die. So if you don't put him through, I'm gonna come over there and shove my foot up your ass!" (a/n: Wow, who knew Yugi would say all those harsh cruel words.)

"O-okay. Hold please!" said the scared secratary. Hold music played, and just for the heck of it, Yugi danced to it, and to make it worse, or good, depending on how you look at things, it was elavator music.

"Kaiba." replied the CEO on the other line.

"..." Yugi didn't answer. He kept dancing.

"Yugi...are you dancing to the hold music?"

Yugi stopped. "Maybe." answered the little one innocently.

"Whatever. As you know, I'm a busy man, so I don't have time to talk. The only reason why I'm speaking to you right now is because you scared the secratary half to death. So just say it."

"Fine, fine. Since the world is coming to an end, all I have to say is...you're an asshole." Yugi hung up and left Kaiba speechless.

"Well, I got that over with." replied Yugi. He got out a list from the drawer. "Let's see..." The list was labled 'Things To Do When The Pharaoh Becomes Stupid And The Evil Insane Tomb-robber Posses The Millenium Ring Because The Pharaoh Gave It To Him.' "I know! I shall become gothic!" He went to the closet and opened the door. He examined the closet and spotted a box that was labbeled 'In Case That The Pharaoh Gives The Tomb-robber The Millenium Ring.' Yugi lifted the lid of the box. It was filled with black clothes. "Good. Let's see what else..." He scrolled down the list. "I shall eat 2 whole tubs of ice cream! Vanilla and Chocolate! Hm...or should it be Mint Chocolate Chip or Rocky Road. Decisions, dicisions. I know! I shall eat 4 tubs! Yeah!"

Yami came into the room. "Yugi, how do you work this device?" He held up a toaster. "What do you even call this contraption?"

"Yugi slapped his forehead. "It's a toaster. Used to make toast. You plug it in, put bread in it, and wait until it pops up. Now leave me alone."

"Okay!" replied Yami as he ran to the kitchen.

"Stupid. How did people in ancient Egypt survive?"

(Ten minutes later)

"Aibou!" came the pharaoh's voice from downstairs. Yugi ran into the kitchen and saw Yami hudled under the table.

"What is it?" asked Yugi in a bored kinda tone. Yami looked horrifird. He pointed to the...

**Atem's Queen: I'm ending it there. A cliff hanger. Can anybody guess what our favorite pharaoh is pointing at? Oh, please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Atem's Queen: Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Forever I should say. I apologize! One reason is because I couldn't find my stupid journal that had the story in it. Anyway, thanks to all my wonderful reviewers! On to chapter 4! Hope you enjoy, and please review!**

**Chapter 4**

Yami pointed to the…toaster. "The…toaster thing…it attacked me! Well, tried to anyway, but still! It's evil!"

Yugi, who was annoyed, walked over to the so called evil toaster. It turns out that the toast was done. You know how it pops up. "Pharaoh, it's just the toast." said Yugi very calmly.

"Oh."

"Baka!" Yugi left the room.

"What did I do?" asked the pharaoh in no one in particular.

**Upstairs**

"Time to go gothic!" replied Yugi as he put on long baggy black pants with chains on them, a black shirt, a spiked collar around his neck, and to top it off, a black trench coat. "Yay! Now it's time to do to the store and buy four tubs of ice-cream! Yayness!

**Meanwhile, with our favorite insane person…**

"That was odd." said the thief. "That was easier than taking candy from a baby. Which I like to do by the way. I shall now kill the pharaoh and take over the world! But I have a schedule to keep." he took out a little black book. "Let's see. Today is Wednesday."

**Bakura's schedule:**

Thursday- kill a guy because I was bored

Friday- kill a guy who bumped into me

Saturday- kill a guy who tried to rip me off

Sunday- kill a guy who called me gay (no one is supposed to know)

Monday- kill a guy who said that my hair was lame.

Tuesday- Free.

"Well, I guess it'll have to wait until next week. Damn. Oh well. Tuesday it is then. I'll tell him then." he took out his cell phone and dialed the pharaoh's number.

Ring! Ring! Ring! "Hello?" answered the pharaoh.

"It's Bakura."

"What do you want?"

"I came to tell you that I'll come to kill you on Tuesday of next week, okay?"

"That sounds great to me!" replied Yami.

"Okay. Well….bye." click. Bakura hung up and put the phone away.

Yami hung up. "How the hell did learn how to use this contraption?" he thought a moment and shrugged. "Oh well."

Yugi was on his way to the store to buy four tubs of ice-cream. "Now that the world is coming to an end, and I can't do anything to save it without my item and the help of the pharaoh, I can do whatever I want! Yay!" Just then, a limo pulled up next to Yugi. "I wonder who it is." The window rolled down, only to reveal Seto Kaiba.

"I need to talk to you." replied the CEO.

**Atem's Queen: That's all for now. Sorry if it seems short. It's been awhile. Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I'm back! I hope you liked it, although, I didn't get any reviews for that chapter. Oh well….I must go on. Enjoy and please review! Oh, I don't own YGO.**

"Why?" asked Yugi suspiciously.

"Why the hell did you call me an asshole!" asked Kaiba, who was very pissed.

"Because." said Yugi who had a smug look on his face.

"Because why you freakin' midget?"

"For your information, I'm not a midget. I'm just vertically challenged." answered Yugi smartly.

"Yugi…" growled Kaiba. "Nobody talks to Seto Kaiba that way. Nobody."

"That's nice, but unfortunately, I don't care. Now if you don't mind, I have to go and buy ice cream while being gothic. See ya!" he walked away and Kaiba just sat there.

After a few moments of silence, Kaiba spoke. "There's something wrong with that boy. Nobody calls me an asshole for no reason and talks to me like that and walks away with it. I'm Seto Kaiba, the CEO of Kaiba Corp. The heir. The best duelist in the whole entire world! But wait, there is one that stands in my way, and I will find a way to crush him, and he shall pay! Mwahahahahahaha!"

Then, all of the sudden, some random person came up. "Dude, shut up. Nobody cares."

Kaiba stopped in mid laugh, and glared at the random person. "No one asked you."

"So."

"I can sue you, you know that. Just cause I can. I know where you live." said Kaiba very sinister like.

"Uh…um…" the random person started sweating. "Run away!" he ran way and got hit by a car.

"I didn't do it." replied Kaiba as he walked away calmly. "Where did that runt go? He's gonna pay. Big time."

**At the store**

Yugi walked sown the aisles of the store. "Ice cream!" he got his 4 tubs. Just then, Tea appeared.

"Hey Yugi. What's up!" she said cheerfully. Yugi turned around slowly and faced her.

"Oh…hey." he replied, not so cheerful. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh nothing. Just shopping." answered Tea. "What are you doing here?"

"Buying ice cream. What does it look like I'm doing?" answered Yugi. Tea gasped.

"You're gonna get fat." answered Tea.

"So. You're already a fat pig." said Yugi. Tea was shocked.

"Yugi…" tears formed in Tea's eyes. "That's not a very nice thing to say. Friends shouldn't say such mean things. Friends shouldn't say things that are hurtful to others Friends-."

"Shut up. You're friendship speeches are dreadful. They suck. You suck." answered Yugi.

"What's gotten into you!" asked Tea.

"The world's coming to an end. There. Happy?" Yugi left.

"Oh no! The world is in danger! And I am the only one who can save it! It's up to me!" she struck a superman pose. "Time to get my crime fighting outfit!" she ran to her house.

**Yugi**

"Stupid Tea." grumbled Yugi as he walked home with his four tubs of ice cream. "She tried to stop me and put an end to my fun with that whole 'Ice cream make you fat' thing. We all know she wanted to eat all my ice cream for herself. She will pay."

Kaiba drove his car that appeared out of nowhere. That's not true. He stole it. "Where's that midget?" He spotted some dude behind a bush with spiky tri-colored hair. "Found you." smiled Kaiba evilly. He walked over towards the bush….

**Atem's Queen: I'm stopping it there. I do hope you all enjoyed it. I know some parts are random, but hey. That's what makes it funny. Am I right? Anyway, please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own YGO.**

**Chapter six**

Kaiba moved towards the dude and jumped behind the bush. "Gotcha you freakin' midget1" he attempted to strangle Yugi, but, it wasn't Yugi, it was yami. Eh, he was close.

"What in Ra's name are you doing!" asked the puzzled Pharaoh. "Oh, it's you." said Kaiba disappointed.

"Oh? Were you expecting someone else?" asked Yami as he looked at Kaiba curiously.

"Well, yes. I thought you were Yugi."

"I get that a lot. Let me guess, you want to kill him."

"Yes. How did you know?" asked Kaiba.

"Yami shrugged. "You and everyone else."

"What do you mean by 'everyone else'?" asked Kaiba.

"You and some other people who thought I was Yugi. Hm, I think they're mad at him for something." said Yami. "But who knows."

"Are you sure they don't want to kill you instead? I mean, Yugi was saying that you're the reason that the world is coming to an end. However, I don't believe that.

"Wait, the world's coming to an end!" asked the Pharaoh in panic. "Oh no! I must help! It's my job as pharaoh to save the world! I have the power!" he ran off somewhere.

"Kaiba just stood there. "Damn him and Yugi. Why don't they just drop dead?" cursed the CEO. "Yeah that's it. If they're dead, then I'll be number one! I will rule! Be number one! And have eternal glory! Mwahahahahahaha! Ow!" Just then, some random guy threw a can at Seto's head, and it just so happens to be the same random guy from the last chapter.

"Shut up!" shouted the random guy.

"Hey, I thought you got ran over by a car and DIED." asked Kaiba.

"I did, but since this story is random, I'm here and I threw a can at your head 'cuz you suck! Nobody cares!"

"Should I kill you now or later?" asked Kaiba.

"Hm, how 'bout later?" replied the random person.

"Okay."

"You can kill me the next time you do your gay ass speech that nobody cares about because we all know it'll never happen and-." he stopped in mid sentence cause Kaiba shot him. So now, he's like dead.

Seto stood before him. "Oops. My finger slipped and ACCIDENTALLY pulled the trigger." He put his gun away. "Now, off to destroy the midget and his gay friend. He left to who knows where.

**Yugi's house**

I scream for ice cream!" cried Yugi as he looked at his 4 tubs of ice cream that lay before him. He looked at all of them all confused like. "Aw! Which one should I eat first? Damn it. I never thought of it." he scratched him head in frustration.

**Atem's Queen: Will Yugi ever decide which one to eat first? Please review!**


	7. ice cream

**Atem's Queen: Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I couldn't find my journal. Anyway, I'll be posting more chapters real quick. So I hope you read and review!**

**Chapter seven**

Yugi sat in the middle of the living room. Still trying to think which tub to eat first. Yugi continued to stare at the ice cream. Just then, Yami broke down the door. "YUGI! The world! It's in trouble!" cried the idiotic pharaoh.

Yugi sighed. "Gramps is gonna get mad cause you broke the door down." answered Yugi.

"The world is in great danger!" cried the pharaoh once more.

"I knew that a long time ago you dumbass." sighed Yugi.

"What! Well why in Ra's name didn't you tell me!"

"You are so freakin' stupid!" cried Yugi. "It's your entire fault!"

"My fault?" questioned the pharaoh. "How is it my fault?"

"Argh! You're making me so frustrated! (sigh) Fine, I'll explain. You, being an idiot, gave EVIL Bakura his freakin' millennium item back outta stupidity! There." said Yugi.

(drool) "What?" said the pharaoh. "What are we talking about?"

"Nothing." said Yugi through gritted teeth. "Just drop dead and die." he went upstairs to his room.

** (Yugi's room)**

"Why the hell did my grandfather go to Egypt and get the millennium puzzle? Why? If he didn't, I won't be dealing with all this shit." Yugi stood in the middle of the room. "Oh yeah. My ice cream!" he ran downstairs. "Ice cream! I'm gonna-…" he stared in shock. "No…"

"Hey Yugi, this ice cream is delicious! Too bad I ate it all though…." said Yami as he sat on the floor with ice cream all over his face.

"My ice cream…" whispered Yugi in shock. "NOOOOOOO! My ice cream! Pour quoi!" screamed Yugi and he threw his fists in the air. "My ice cream! My life is ruined!" he fell to his knees and started to sob.

Yami sat there all confused. "What?"

** (With the thief)**

"I'm bored." said the thief as he sat on a park bench.

Then, some random kid with a sucker came up to Bakura. "Hey Mr., how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?" Bakura took the sucker.

"Who cares." the kid looked at him with puppy dog eyes. "Fine, lets find out. 1...2...3." he tried to bite it. "God damn! Ow! My tooth!" cried Bakura in pain. "It's not like the commercial. The world will never know." he handed the kid back his sucker.

"Ew. I don't want it back now." said the kid as he left.

**(Silence)**

"Why the hell am I sitting here for?" asked the thief out loud. "I have the millennium items to gather." he left the park and headed towards the museum.


	8. awkward situation

**Atem's Queen: See, I told you I would update as soon as possible. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and please review!**

**Chapter eight**

Bakura arrived at the Domino Museum. He took a look around. "Welcome to the Domino Museum!" greeted some hyper active girl who worked there. "How may I assist you?"

"You can start by staying out of my way." answered Bakura.

"Okay!" then she left.

"Now, to find that witch." mumbled Bakura. "To the Ancient Egypt exhibit!" he ran to find it.

**(Ancient Egypt Exhibit**

An Egyptian woman stood before an old tablet, just kind of staring at it. "Hey you, you with the face." said Bakura as he entered the room.

"Yes, I have a face!" replied the woman as she turned around and faced Bakura. Well, he was kind of in the shadows, so he was like unseen to her.

"Yes, I know that." answered Bakura slightly annoyed.

"Why must you be in the shadows?" asked the woman.

Bakura shrugged. "I have my reasons, but if you insist I'll come out." he took a step towards the light. Now he was fully visible. "Long time no see Ishizu."

"Oh my Ra it's you!" Ishizu screamed. "Go back into the shadows! I liked it better when you were in there!"

--"That's why I stood in the shadows in the first place." replied Bakura.

"Stay back you beast! I know kung-fu!" cried Ishizu as she panicked. I know what you want!"

"Okay then, hand it over." replied the thief as he held out his hand.

"No! My cheese!" replied Ishizu defensively.

--' "Your cheese? Who the hell said I was after your cheese!"

Ishizu looked at him suspiciously as she held her cheese close to her. "Because."

"Because why?" asked Bakura annoyed.

"Because I hate you. You and that other freak." answered Ishizu.

(Sigh) "Look, I just came here for your millennium item." said Bakura.

"Oh. Here you go. Just as long as it's not my cheese." she took of her necklace and handed it to the thief.

"Thanks." he took the item and left.

"My precious." said Ishizu as she stroked her cheese. After a few moments of silence, she ate the cheese.

**Atem's Queen: Sorry it was so short.**


	9. Yugi's ruined life and forest fires

**Atem's Queen: I don't know what to say except I own nothing. What happened to Yugi after the terrible incident? Please review!**

**Chapter nine**

Yugi staggered down the street as if he was drunk. Who knows if he was drinking or not. (sniff) "My life is ruined…and it's all thanks to that idiotic pharaoh. (sigh) Now what am I supposed to do?" he said in no one in particular. "The world's coming to an end."

**(Tea's house)**

Tea dug through her closet. "Where is it? I know it's in here!" she tossed clothes over her shoulder landing on the floor. (sigh) "The world is in danger! And I must save it!" she continued to dig through her closet.

(Several minutes later)

"I found it!" Tea replied. She held out a multi-colored dress that resembled a lot like a power-puff dress. "Look out evil-doers! There's a new hero in town!"

**(Back with Bakura)**

"What to do?" asked Bakura as he walked through the forest. (a/n: random I know. Don't ask how he got in the forest.) "Where do I go to get the other millennium items? Hm…" he thought a moment. (shrug) "I don't know." (silence.) Oh yea before I forget, it was dark out. "Guess I should camp out here for tonight." he gathered up some wood. "Time to light the fire." he lit a match and made a fire. "There we go."

Then all of the sudden, Smokey the Bear randomly appears and puts out Bakura's lovely fire. "Only you can prevent forest fires." replied the bear.

"What the fuck! My fire!"

"Only you can prevent forest fires." said Smokey.

"You said that already!" yelled Bakura. (silence) "A talking bear…How much did I drink?" he scratched his head.

"Drinking is bad for you." replied the bear.

"I don't need a freakin' bear to tell me that." said Bakura.

"Oh, but you do."

"No, I don't." argued Bakura.

"Yes you do."

(several minutes later)

"Just die you stupid talking bear who ruined my nice fire!" Bakura took a gun out and shot Smokey the Bear. (thud) the bear fell to the ground. "Finally." Bakura lit up another fire. "Peace and quiet."

**(Back with Yugi)**

Yugi continued to stagger down the street. Then, Tea came running up to him. "Oh my God! My eyes!" cried Yugi as he saw Tea and her multi-colored dress.

"Hey Yugi!" cried Tea.

"Yugi covered his eyes. "My eyes…they burn!"

"You like my outfit?" she asked as she did a little twirl.

"What part of, 'My eyes they burn' don't you understand?" replied Yugi rudely.

Tea ignored the statement. "I'm off to save the world from evil!" said Tea as she pointed up at the sky.

"Yeah you do that." said Yugi." "And I hope you die too."

"Okay!" she ran off to who knows where.

**Atem's Queen: I hope you enjoyed it. Please review!**


	10. yo' mamma

**Atem's Queen: Please read and review! Oh yea, I own nothing.**

**Chapter ten**

"What a retarded bitch." replied Yugi. "Now what do I do? My life has no meaning…I must be emo."

**(With Tea)**

Tea ran down the street and bumped into Tristan. "Oh hey Tristan! Long time no see!"

"I saw you yesterday. Oh God. You in a multi-colored dress is scary." replied tent head. (Tristan) "May I ask why you're wearing that?"

"To save the world from evil!" replied Tea as she struck a heroic pose.

"Weird. Are you feeling okay?" asked Tristan.

"Just peachy! Well, I gotta go! Bye!" she ran off.

"She must be on crack. Or something." replied Tristan.

"Hey Tristan!" replied Joey as he walked up to his buddy.

"Sup Joey." (silence) the two just stood there in silence for several minutes.

"Yo' mamma!" they both said at the same time.

"Oh, so now you wanna talk about my mamma." said Joey.

"Sure do." replied Tristan.

"Okay then. Yo' mamma's so stupid she saw a bus full of white kids and thought it was a giant Twinkie!"

"Ohhh!" cried a random crowd that randomly came outta nowhere.

Tristan glared at Joey. "Yo' mamma's so fat, when she walks her butt claps."

"Ohhh!"

"Yo' mamma's so fat her shadow weighs 45 pounds!" replied Joey.

"Yo' mamma's so poor, I asked her if I can use the bathroom, and she just said to pick a corner." replied Tristan.

"Ohhh!"

Joey nodded. "Okay. Yo' mamma's so poor she uses coupon's at the 99 cent store."

"Ohhh!"

"Go home you wanna-be gangsters!" cried a random guy.

"Aw…okay…" said Tristan and Joey as they walked home solemnly.

"Ruin our fun." replied Joey.

"I know right." said Tristan as he kicked a small pebble. (silence)

"Did you see tea?" asked Joey.

"Yea. She's hideous. Her little multi-colored dress burns my eyes." replied tent head. (Tristan)

"It burns us." (silence) "Anyway, I gotta go. Home. You know, to lie lazily on the couch and maybe eat junk food."

"Oh okay. Bye." they both went their separate ways.

**Atem's Queen: Sorry it was short and I don't own any of the jokes. My brother helped me out on it. I hope you liked it. Please review and no flamers! Cuz flamers will pay.**


	11. A new goal

**Atem's Queen: I own nothing. Please enjoy.**

**Chapter eleven**

Yami was sprawled out on the couch, sleeping away after eating all that ice cream. He woke up and yawned. "Ah! What a beautiful morning!" cried the pharaoh.

"It's the afternoon stupid!" replied Yugi as he just walked through the front door.

"Ah, Aibou, you're back!" said the pharaoh happily.

"Hey, don't give me that Aibou shit!" snapped Yugi angrily.

"Well, someone's grumpy."

"Well, I wouldn't be if SOMEONE hadn't eaten MY ice cream!" shouted Yugi. (silence) "You're so mean!" he ran to his room.

"He needs to be cheered up." replied the pharaoh who was a bit worried. "But I'm not the one to do it!" he said proudly and very stupidly.

**(Upstairs)**

(sigh) Yugi sat at his desk. "I'm pissed. Yami, the super stupid pharaoh, ruined everything! The world's coming to an end, and I have nothing to do! This is bullshit. Doesn't that loser have somebody else to bother!"

"Nope." Yami replied as he randomly appeared out of nowhere behind Yugi.

"No one asked you!"

"So. If you want someone to blame, blame your extremely old grandfather. He's the one who gave you the puzzle. Or, blame yourself. You solved the puzzle." replied Yami.

Yugi sat there in silence. _'Oh my God he's right! I couldn't blame myself, cuz that old fart MADE me solve the puzzle. He said he'd send me away to Never-ever Land with Michael Jackson! Come on, of course I'd solve the puzzle. No little boy wants to go there!' _"I hate that old fart! He made me solve that damn puzzle!"

"What are you gonna do?" asked yami.

Yugi smiled. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Yami smirked. "Oh yea. Jingle bells! Jingle bells! Jingle all the way!" he sang.

"No you freakin idiot! I was thinking more on the lines of: Murder." answered Yugi.

"Aw…it's never singing." said Yami who was now disappointed.

**(several minutes later)**

"What to do?" asked Yugi to himself as he sat at his desk plotting evil schemes to wipe out that old geezer.

"I'm still sad because we're not singing." said Yami.

"Shut up you." replied Yugi. "You're so freakin' worthless. Sometimes it makes me wonder why they call you King of games." silence filled the room. Then, a light bulb lit up in Yugi's head. "Why do they call you the King of Games? I fight the damn duels."

"No, I do."

"We both do." replied Yugi.

"No I do. You're just the little voice inside my head that won't shut up and let me play. You always nag." replied Yami.

"By the way, they say Yugi. I'm Yugi."

"So, I still fight the duels. You just get all the glory which should belong to me. You can't play worth crap." said the pharaoh.

"We'll just see about that. I'll kill you. Then we'll see who's the King of games." replied Yugi all crazy like.

**Atem's Queen: sorry if it seems short and it's not as funny as my other ones.**


	12. pimpin basements

**Atem's Queen: I still own nothing and I never will own it. W all wish we did but oh well. please enjoy.**

**Chapter twelve**

So now Yugi has two goals: Kill his extremely old grandfather and become the King of Games and eliminate that stupid idiotic pharaoh. It may seem like three goals, but it's really two. And for the pharaoh, his goal or goals are: …The world doesn't know that yet. Maybe ruin Yugi's plan to eliminate him and become more stupid to ruin everybody else's fun.

Yugi and Yami sat at different desks on opposite sides of the room. Yami sat at his desk. _'Hm. How will I become recognized as King of Games instead of Yugi and get the respect that I deserve? I know, I can always push him out the window. I mean, he is sitting by it, and he's so small it'll be easy to pick him up and throw him out of it. So perfect!' _thought the pharaoh.

"Hey stupid, are you talking through a can?" asked Yugi slightly annoyed.

"Uh…no."

"Get out of my room before I shoot!" replied Yugi.

"Fine! Why do you have to e so mean!" replied yami as he left the room.

"Finally. Peace and quiet."

**(Upstairs)**

"Where do I go now?" asked Yami as he stood in the middle of the living room. "Where to go? Hm…" (several minutes of thinking.) "Oh I know! The basement! To the basement!" (silence) "How come when I say 'to the basement' it doesn't take me there? (sigh) Now I have to walk there myself.

He walked down into the basement and looked around. Then a random hobo was like, "Ah! The light! It burns us!"

"Wow. This basement needs some work." replied Yami.

**(several hors later)**

"Thanks pimp my basement!" replied Yami.

"You're welcome little man." replied Xhibit. "Now your basement is pimped out!"

"Awesome! My basement is so pimp now." replied the pharaoh. Yami sat in his lounge chair all comfortable. "I'm livin' like a pimp now. Livin' like king."

(**Upstairs in Yugi's room)**

Yugi sat at his desk. "What's all that noise?" he was referring to the blaring music coming from the basement. He went to go check it out. Yugi opened the door to the basement. And stood there in awe. "WTF! What happened to my basement!"

"Like it?" came the reply of the king.

_'No, I can't tell him I do. It's so hip…so pimp. Must have. Now its time to figure out how to kick him out.' _"No." lied Yugi.

**Atem's Queen: sorry it sucks….I did the best I could. Please review and don't flame me.**


	13. finally

**Atem's Queen: I own nothing. Please review!**

**Chapter 13**

**Last time: **"Like it?" came the reply of the king.

_'No, I can't tell him I do. It's so hip…so pimp. Must have. Now its time to figure out how to kick him out.' _"No." lied Yugi

**Anyway, back to the story.**

"I hate it. You ruined my basement and you're a disgrace to this house." said Yugi.

"But its pimp." whimpered yami.

"Pimp smimp. I don't care what it is. Get out of this basement. In fact, get out of this house!" yelled Yugi.

"I live in this house. You can't just kick me out."

"Oh yes I can. I gave you a place to stay and I can easily take it away from you. Now get out of my damn house!" yelled Yugi.

"Fine you mean short little person!" replied Yami as he left.

**(silence filled the basement.)**

"Yay! I have a cool new pimp evil lair to scheme my evil deeds!" Xhibit walked up to him.

"Here's the bill."

"Bill? What bill?" asked Yugi confused.

"You know. For your cool new pimpin' basement." Xhibit replied. He handed Yugi the bill.

"Holy shit!"

**(With Yami)**

Yami walked down the street wondering where to go. Just then, Tea walked up to him. "Wow Tea! What a pretty outfit!"

"Really! Thanks!" said Tea cheerfully.

"Why are you wearing such a beautiful dress on a fine day like this?" he asked.

"Because! Don't you remember? The world is in danger!" she said all drastic.

"Dear Ra! Why didn't anybody tell me!"

"We did!" answered some random crowd.

"Tea quick! Let us save the world together!" replied the pharaoh.

"Together?" Tea asked all dreamy like.

"Yes."

"Like side by side? Boyfriend and girlfriend?" she asked.

"Why in Ra's name would I like you like that? I'm gay." answered Yami.

(sigh) "How come all the cute guys are gay?" she asked herself.

"Cuz you make every straight guy turn gay." he answered flatly.

(sniff) "So true!" she started to sob.

"Cry me a river." replied Yami.

"I am!" then she ran off.

**(Tea)**

"I need a feminine touch. So the all the guys will like me!" said Tea as she stood in front of somebody's door. "Well, here goes nothing." knock! Knock! The door opens.

"Hey hun. What's up?"

**Atem's Queen: I'm ending it here. I hope you enjoyed it. Please review!**


	14. A feminine touch and now homeless

**Atem's Queen: I hope you guys are enjoying my story so far. Hope you like it!**

**Chapter 14**

**"**Hey Mai!" greeted Tea as she saw Mai.

"Come in."

"Don't mind if I do." Tea stepped inside and they both sat on the couch in the living room.

"So, what brings you here?" asked Mai as she took a sip of her green tea.

"Well, since you're a slutty bitchy hoe, I was wondering if you can help me out. After all, for ages I've been saying I need more female friends because I've lost my feminine touch." answered Tea.

"What about me in the beginning?" asked Mai.

"Uh…you're beautiful…" answered tea.

"Oh, that's what I thought you said." Mai replied. "So, you want my help."

"Yes."

"Well, first of all hun, you ain't gonna be wearing that hideous multi-colored dress. Just one look at you and people will be blind." said Mai.

"That explains a lot." mumbled Tea. "But I need to! It's my crime fighting outfit! The world is in danger!"

"Honey, the world is not in danger, and even if it was that hot sexy pharaoh will save us all." replied Mai.

"I thought you were dating Joey."

"I am."

"Slut."

"What was that?" asked Mai.

"Nothing. Anyway, isn't he gay?" asked tea.

Mai shrugged. "So." (silence) "Anyway, how about changing the look. Put on some make-up."

"Oh no. My mom won't let me put on make-up. She thinks I might eat it." replied Tea.

"Fine. How about just the dress?" asked Mai.

"I already told you." said Tea.

"Fine then. All the girls will hate you for making straight guys gay." replied Mai.

(sigh) "Okay." said tea. Mai just smiled.

**(Back with Yugi.)**

Yugi sat on the ground very pissed off. "Hey Yugi." greeted Yami as he walked up to him. Yugi said nothing. "Why are you sitting on the ground? And what the hell happened to our house!" asked the pharaoh as he looked at the scene. Yugi sat in the middle of what used to be their house.

"It's all your fault." mumbled Yugi.

"What?"

"I said it's all your fucking fault!" shouted Yugi. "Because of you, I had to get rid of the house to pay off your damn bill! All cause you pimped our basement! Why don't you just drop dead and die?"

"Because I'm already dead. I'm just a wandering spirit." answered the pharaoh. Yugi threw a rock at him. "Ow! What was that for?"

"Spirit? Whatever. Go fuck yourself." replied Yugi as he hugged his knees tightly.

"Someone's grumpy." said Yami as he left.

**(At Joey's)**

Ring! Ring! Ring! "Hello?" answered Joey as he picked up the phone.

"Joey, it's me Tristan."

"Oh hey."

"What are you doing?" asked Tristan.

"Watching TV sitting upside down on the couch eating pizza while trying not to throw up. You?" replied Joey.

"Nothing. I'm bored. Do you want to go to the arcade?"

"Sure why not."

**(Mai's house)**

"There you go!" cried Mai as she admired her work. Tea was now new and improved. She had on a very short skirt and a very revealing top. Not a pretty sight.

"Wow thanks Mai!"

"You're welcome you bitch." said Mai.

"I'm off to save the day!" she ran out of the house.

Now people will think she's sluttier than me! Ha ha ha!" thought Mai evilly as she continued to do her annoying high pitched laugh.

**Atem's Queen: I hope you liked it! Please review!**


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